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Greg Gutfeld: Award show implosion is one of the great things of the past decade

Happy Monday everyone. They say some pictures are worth a thousand words. Well, this one just won’t shut the eff up.

You remember the dress worn by a-list socialist AOC at the ghoulish Met Gala – where the masters sauntered around maskless, while the servants impersonated the gimp from Pulp Fiction.

There hasn’t been a more stark contrast of the powerful and the plebes since I was on the Daily Show.

Each ticket cost $35 grand – yeah, a real working-class event. It must feel great waiting on snobs who paid your yearly income for a night out. 

But the good news is – they also think you’re rife with disease! So you better wear your mask. “Tax the rich,” was the in-your-maskless-face message to the rich white libs, who would like nothing more than for you to think that they agree. Which is why the message was about as edgy as a “world’s greatest grandpa coffee mug.”

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But worse: and not that surprising: the designer of AOC’s dress happily ignores her own message. A New York Post exclusive portrays Aurora James as a “notorious tax deadbeat with unpaid debts dogging her in multiple states.” It’s true: Wesley Snipes has a better reputation with the IRS.

She has six IRS tax liens totaling 103-thousand bucks on her parent company, and a 17 grand fine for failing to carry workman’s comp. That parent company sounds more like a deadbeat dad.

She faces legal challenges for nonpayment of worker benefits. The company currently owns $62 grand, says the post. $62 grand. Do you know what you could buy with that type of moola? That’s right – two tix to the Met Gala.

Her company, cultural brokerage has been hit with more warrants than your average MS-13 gang member. 15 to be exact, since 2015. That’s at least ten more than Kat. But to be fair, unlike Kat’s, they don’t involve puncturing a nightclub bouncer’s eardrum with a stiletto,

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And as she stiffed Uncle Sam, James’ company received over $41 grand in pandemic relief. She truly puts the “artist” in scam artist. Meanwhile, former staffers call her place of work a sweatshop — and not as a compliment. She apparently relied on unpaid interns working full-time jobs. 

Something we don’t do here right, Joe?

*Skit of Joe Machi working in a closet*

One worker claims that the designer would force her to schedule the dressmaker gynecological appointments. I can safely say, I never would do that.   

*Skit of Joe Devito reminding Gutfeld he has an appointment for a pap smear*

Well maybe once. For a few months, I identified as a mermaid. And let me tell you – bacteria from the ocean is no laughing matter down there!

But this shouldn’t surprise you — in the world of progressivism, the act of caring about the powerless is often a way to enhance your own power. It’s your moat against criticism, giving you a pass for derelict behavior.

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You can still flaunt your Louis Vuitton bag, as long as your receipts are made of recyclable material. And if you say all the right liberal things, no one dares peek behind the curtain to call out your scams.

Thank god for the Emmys.

They should give themselves an award for best tone-deaf clown carnival. It’s where our greatest Hollywood celebs went maskless Sunday to converge on an orgy of mutual masturbation. 

But if anybody should be hiding their faces behind a mask it’s these self-absorbed, sanctimonious, sell-outs. There was more integrity in a holding cell at Rikers.

So, while your kids must wear masks in school; while you must wear masks at the gym; and while I still wear a mask in bed (it has zero to do with COVID and everything to do with roleplaying) – these recognition craving lemmings pack themselves together without a mask in sight.

Well, except for the non-celebs  – the assistants, servers and press – who all embraced the role of handmaids to their famous superiors. They all looked like extras from ‘Eyes Wide Shut.’

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Speaking of handmaids — congrats to that show — which broke the record for most Emmy losses in history. Or should I say… her-story. What a shame – it had such a positive message!  Yeah, turns out maybe creating a dismal miserable mess of male-loathing only works in women’s studies classes. 

My colonoscopy won more Emmys. To be fair, what a surprise ending! (Four matchbox cars!)

But at least there were jokes.

Stephen Colbert: I have the results of the special recall election for the 2018 Emmy for Outstanding Comedy. As you remember, that year The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel was duly elected with an overwhelming majority, but California law does allow for the recall of any Emmy award if enough signatures are first obtained, meaning the 2018 Emmy winner for Best Comedy could soon be The Marvelous Mrs. Larry Elder.

That was like a four-hour drive for ten minutes at the beach. Talk about speaking truth to power. I haven’t heard material this daring since Pat Boone’s latest commercial for Relief Factor.

But it’s one of the great things to happen in the last decade – this implosion of awards shows. Which happened cuz we’re just more aware of their hypocrisies. Turns out that the more sanctimonious judgments these bozos make to viewers; the fewer viewers they end up having. Cuz we see who they really are. 

Couple that with the gloom and doom content that’s always trying to brand the consumer as evil- and you’re left with an auditorium full of virtue-signaling millionaires, terrified their personal scandals might finally be met with accountability. It’s why Rose McGowan scares the s*** out of them.

In sum – award shows are like a mobster’s trunk – they stink of death. And maybe that’s why the help were wearing masks. Sadly, no mask can block the stench of hypocrisy, privilege, and clueless self-absorption. 

The only people who don’t know it are the losers who keep showing up. Thinking they’re winners.

This article is adapted from Greg Gutfeld’s opening monologue on the September 21, 2021 edition of “Gutfeld!”

Greg Gutfeld currently serves as host of FOX News Channel’s (FNC) Gutfeld! (weekdays 11PM/ET) and co-host of The Five (weekdays 5PM/ET). He joined the network in 2007 as a contributor. He is author of the new book, “The Plus: Self-Help for People Who Hate Self-Help.”  Click here for more information on Greg Gutfeld. 


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